How I feel when I write a novel ...

Some people ask me: What is it like to be a writer? What does it feel like writing a novel?

Well, there's a lot of heart and soul that goes into writing a book. And sometimes, you lose yourself a little bit in the characters and the story and the drama.

So what does it feel like to write a novel? A little bit of everything. The proof is in the video.

Happy reading and writing!

YA Gets Real: Sacrifice

The four of us watched in horror as green light exploded from the tip of the witch's wand straight into Madison Patrick. Madison's eyes rolled back into her head, her body shuddered once, and she collapsed onto the ground.

Josephine, Carlyle, and Trevor gasped behind me.

The witch, who I thought would be ecstatic to have just ended Madison's life, glanced at the end of her wand. Her brow furrowed, and she frowned.

"Why did you not save her?" Her voice came out tinny and hollow.

There was a long, outstretched moment of silence. I gazed at the charred clothes on top of Madison's chest. I swallowed back a bit of bile from the smell filling the stone-walled space.

"We tried. We just got here too late," I said.

"No, Lex, we were here just in time," Josephine squeaked.

I narrowed my eyes and took a step away from my friends, the people I had spent ages on this journey with. We had come all this way to subdue the witch and save Madison's life. We had arrived at the tower too late, and there was nothing we could have done to save her. The witch had been casting her spell before we entered the room.

"We were too late," I said again.

Trevor shook his head and glanced down at his sword. "We could have saved her."

"No, we didn't have the time," I said.

"You could have," the witch said, eyeing me.

Finally, it clicked into place. I blinked at my friends and swept my eyes over the sullen looking witch. She had used all her magic on that last spell. She hadn't wanted to kill Madison at all. She had wanted to kill me.

"Whoa. Wait a second." I stepped back from all of them, holding my hands up. "You had expected me to travel across the continent, defeat the wraith, drain the swamp with the formi inside, and beat the harnessed rider to what ... to sacrifice myself for Madison Patrick?!"

None of them could look me in the eyes.

"I barely knew her! You barely knew her!" I pointed out to my so-called friends. "Sure, I was trying to save her life, but I wasn't prepared to die for her." The words were true, and I'm not sure what kind of person that made me. While I had failed to save her, so had they. No one stepped up on this one.

"You have the amulet," Carlyle finally said, eyes sullen and lips taut. "It would have brought you back."

"How was I supposed to know?" My voice rose, panic bubbling into my throat. "You guys never told me that!"

"They couldn't," the witch said. "It would have only worked if your intentions had been pure, if you were actually willing to sacrifice yourself for her." She shook her head, looking at me with disappointment. "I can't believe I planned all of this just to get to you." With that, she turned and marched out of her tower.

I stood there, jaw open, stunned.

"You weren't the person we thought you were," Trevor said.

"No one had to die today." Tears welled in Josephine's eyes.

"So are we letting the witch go?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips. "Because she's, you know, a murderer now."

As if in a trance, the three of them repeated, "No one had to die today."

"You can't tell me you wouldn't have done the same thing!" I slammed my foot down, hoping to break them out of whatever had just happened. This wasn't all on me. This wasn't all my fault, but they were making me feel like it was.

They continued repeating the sentence over and over again, "No one had to die today." Slowly, my companions shuffled out of the room, leaving me behind with the body of Madison Patrick.

- - -

Thanks for reading the parody series YA Gets Real! It's a parody series of shorts that make fun of the tropes we know and love in Young Adult literature. There are quite a few books where the main character does sacrifice themselves for the sake of others. I won't give any recommendations for this one, because that would give away too many endings. ;)

Cheers! Another YA Gets Real will be posted in two weeks! Stay tuned!

January 2017 Book Wrap Up and Giveaway

At the end of every month, I wanted to do a vlog with a wrap up of what I've read, or more specifically, what titles I recommend reading and why. However, I have found myself continuing to read books that I feel "meh" about. Despite knowing that I should put them down and move onto a different read, I still finish the title despite knowing I'll probably never really enjoy it.

Thus comes the idea that perplexes me. I can go months and years without finishing a writing project, but I can't seem to permanently walk away from an already written book. There have been very few exceptions to this rule. Very few. If I reach fifty pages in, I can't stop.

I tend to research books before I read them. I check out reviews from people I trust, because books are a huge commitment for me. A recent book I read had a huge red flag review, but I still started it anyway. I continued to think, "I should just walk away" until the very last page,

I did read a book in January that I'd like to recommend. At first, I was upset by one YA Trope used toward the end of the book (perhaps I'll make a YA Gets Real post out of it). But as time goes on, I find myself remembering the description, the characters, and the writing, because it was all really strong. The dialect was hard to get used to, but Orleans by Sherri L. Smith is a fast-paced book that starts slow and then becomes chaotic, much like her depiction of Orleans itself.

When I finished reading it, I wasn't as big of a fan as I am now. The trope almost killed it for me, but perspective has made me appreciate it more.

I also wanted to provide a few more recommendations based on the books I read last year. You can click on any of the photos for a link to amazon.

Beauty Queens by Libba Bray
Silly somewhat dystopian Lord of the Flies take on a beauty pageant. When I started reading this book, I thought, "Man, this is going to be a trip." It was, but in the best way possible. These girls learn to kick butt. Who cares if it might be a totally outlandish plot, I adored every single ridiculous second of it.





Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock by Matthew Quick
A disturbing and psychological look at a boy who needs the most amount of help possible. Intense and gripping toward the end when it all slams together in a fast-paced near nightmare.






The Rest of Us Just Live Here by Patrick Ness
You know how all those supernatural stories have other people in them that never get talked about? The ordinary people who somehow manage to still have a normal high school experience despite the insanity going on around them? In this quirky and lovely book, Patrick Ness explores the lives of those people, creating an extraordinary story out of the ordinary.




If you are looking for indie authors to read, I've enjoyed books by all of my fellow Scriptors. I cannot recommend any of their titles enough.

That's it for January. Hopefully February will have several more titles to recommend and more current reads. I'm hoping to break the streak of mediocre books with some amazing titles in the future. Also, YA recommendations are welcome! Leave a comment! a Rafflecopter giveaway

Book Reading: Hipstopia

I have a feeling that reading out loud is something that you get better at with practice. For the first time ever, I can be seen reading Hipstopia, my YA dystopian satire about hipsters taking over Los Angeles.

I was definitely a bit nervous, as this hasn't been something I've even attempted in the past. But I'm fairly happy with my first attempt. Enjoy! And happy reading!

Excerpt: Girl Nevermore

Purchase your copy on Amazon

Girl Nevermore is my dark contemporary young adult novel based on real life events. When I was much younger, my best friend at the time tried to take her own life while sitting next to me in class. She went to the bathroom with the pass that hung by the door, was gone for a while, and came back a completely different person.

She slowly started fading away as she sat next to me.

The image of her eyes haunted me for almost a decade, and I still remember the look she gave me to this day, but I've grown up a lot since then. While the helplessness I felt in that moment used to cause me anxiety, I've realized I'm much stronger now and much more sympathetic because of it.

Thankfully, my friend is still alive, but some people do not get second chances like she did. I've lost a lot of people - a lot of good people - along the way, and I cannot imagine how it would have been to lose her in that moment.

Girl Nevermore's story grew from that single moment, and the thoughts and feelings that I had after. I never truly grasped how much it affected me until later on in life. But events like that change you.

If you are in the mood for a dark story, Cooper's journey is full of life lessons, things that took me a lot longer than her to realize. Today, I am sharing a small piece of Girl Nevermore with you. Cooper finds the journal that her twin sister, Kayla, had been keeping. Over the course of the book, she reads her sister's writing. Kayla never seemed so alive, and then ... Well, I'll let you read to find out the rest. Enjoy the excerpt from Kayla's found journal below:

We pulled into the park, stealing drinks from the flask he keeps in his glove compartment. We leaned against the side of his car, passing it back and forth, him taking bigger gulps than me.

When the sprinklers came on, I was already a little light-headed, feeling freer than I had in a long time. I kicked off my shoes and ran into the grass barefoot, laughing as water soaked through my jeans, my shirt, everything. The grass squelched between my toes, and I watched him watching me. His dark eyes never left my body.

It felt blissful, perfect.

Trent and I don’t talk much. There’s not much to say. We just are. We’re two different people who are from separate parts of the universe. But when we collide, our worlds smash together with such fire I can barely breathe. I want to take the feeling he gives me and bottle it up, keep it for whenever I need it.

This kind of perfection never lasts a lifetime. I’m not stupid. But that’s why I’m soaking it all in. I take every chance I can get with him to make up for all the insignificant moments that will happen later. Because as long as I live, I will never meet anyone who makes me feel as alive as Trent does now.

I spun around in the middle of the field until the stars collapsed in on themselves, blending together into one blurring ball of light. I wanted to kiss that sky, get sucked up into it and dance forever.

When I stopped, the world kept moving around me. Trent marched right through the sprinklers, dropped the flask in the field, and wrapped his arms around me. He kissed me with such an intensity I thought I would melt right into his skin.

That’s how he makes me feel, like I could become something bigger than myself. I’ve never felt that kind of power before. I grinned the whole way home, wondering how I got so lucky, but also wondering how I was going to keep this a secret.

Because I want Trent to be mine and just mine. I don’t want to share any of these moments with anyone else. They are too beautiful, too enormous. And I’m afraid if I tell someone, they might become a little bit smaller, and that would ruin the magic we have now.

Managing Mischief

I think about when I was younger and how, for the most part, I was a fairly well behaved kid. It wasn't because my parents were huge disciplinarians, but because of self-regulation. I felt a tremendous amount of guilt whenever I did anything relatively "bad" or "destructive." The guilt was crippling. A tingling feeling would invade the base of my neck and travel up to my brain, numbing me from the inside out with a painful coldness. Nausea would flood my stomach. I'd be paralyzed, my mind a record repeating the one thing I did wrong over and over.

It was the same feeling I had during the beginnings of a panic attack. Needless to say, young me avoided this feeling like the plague.

I wonder, however, how I came to admire the kinds of characters that I did. I fell in love with Dallas from The Outsiders, thinking of him as a tragic hero. I adored Harry Potter, who wouldn't listen to the rules so long as it meant keeping his friends safe. He was a hero in more ways than one.

Most of the heroes that I read in YA literature have some sort of rebellious nature. What makes them a hero? Doing something heroic, sticking to their guns no matter what? None of them deal with getting caught or the guilt that comes thereafter. If they do get captured, the last thing they are thinking is I should feel guilty about this. No, they do what they have to do.

Though, these heroes are generally not dealing with the mundane, but with tyrants, corrupt governments, and supernatural creatures.

There wasn't a tyrannical government when I was growing up, and there certainly wasn't magic (or maybe I just never received an owl letter). The friends I did have, we had to carve out our own lives. I think self-regulation through guilt forced me into finding different ways to enjoy life. Instead of combating evil, I read. I snowboarded. I wrote. I played games. I drank tea. For a while, I knitted.

I won't get into all the times I spent bored out of my mind or staring vacantly into the distance like a cinematic overly dramatized moment of a slightly depressed teenager (but that happened too).

Because there were not a lot of heroic deeds I could do (at least not the kind we read about), I became the kind of girl who went to parties. But because I wasn't the "party-type," I would grab a single drink and nurse it while having one intense conversation with someone in the corner. I was the kind of girl who wanted to be surrounded by people, be a part of a community, but was terrified to actually get involved (What if they don't like me? What if I'm not cool enough? What if I say the wrong thing?).

Today, I still avoid mischief. Instead, I live out mischief and drama through my writing. Sometimes, the scenes my characters live through are more real than my own memories. Perhaps that's because we change our memories every time we access them, but that's for a different blog post.

So today, I'll sit down and create more mischief. My characters in The Mundane List are almost at the end of their journeys. I always stall with a few thousand words left, because I don't like letting go of them. Once I finish writing the story, I'm onto the first step of publishing, and perhaps, the first step of not having my work be successful (or perhaps, which potentially terrifies me more, it's the biggest hit of my life and I can never, ever live up to that expectation again).

If you feel like reading The Mundane List and seeing what adventures my characters get up to, the first nine chapters are available for free on Wattpad. It is, however, in the very first draft stages (as in, zero editing). I'm going to revamp it this January and hopefully get it published sometime next year.

Hope you all had wonderful holidays! Tell me what mischief you are getting up to this holiday season.

New Release: In a Blue Moon

Today, I am super excited to announce the release of In a Blue Moon (Blue Moon #1). This book has been in the making for quite some time. I got early feedback from readers telling me I should shop it prior to self-publishing. I've spent over two years querying agents and publishing houses.

At the end of the day, there are a lot of fairy tale retellings, and In a Blue Moon is hitting the market a bit too late for publishers to take interest. Therefore, it is hitting the shelves like all of my other books, independently.

This fairy tale retelling begins with the apocalypse. It's fun, adventurous, and has enough action to keep you turning the page. I couldn't wait to share it with everyone, and today's finally the day!

When Effy stumbles down the rabbit hole, she discovers the wondrous fairy tale land of East Valley in chaos. Death and insanity reign after the release of the deadly blue moon curse. Teaming up with the only sane people left—Jack the giant killer, Hansel, and Cat from Cheshire—they traverse East Valley, desperately searching for an answer. 

They know Effy’s the key to unraveling the curse, but everyone who remembers how to break the curse is… well, cursed. The murderous mob has Effy in their crosshairs. With Snow, Red, Rapunzel, Gretel, and Pinocchio on the group’s trail, Effy isn’t sure any of them will make it out alive.

Excited? I sure as heck am. Effy's a strong female character who stays true to herself and her weird, quirky talents. Jack has an infectious sense of humor, and he grows on you.

Soon, Jack will have his own in between sequel, Greener on the Other Side (do you see the color idiom theme going on here?). The Blue Moon series will have numerous prequels with different character origin stories, so if you fall in love, chances are, you'll see their own book soon. One prequel and Jack's in between novella are currently in the works!

Pick up your copy today!

Paperback. ---  Kindle.  ---  Smashwords.

On Wattpad: The End Diary

I'm super excited to tell you guys about The End Diary being available on Wattpad. I'm updating it regularly, and already have five parts up for you to read and enjoy. I've been busy working behind the scenes, but it's only fair that my readers get something from me sooner rather than waiting any longer.

Here's a little Q&A I put together regarding why you should check out The End Diary.

What is The End Diary?
The story is told from Megan P. Whitford's perspective (don't ask her what the "P" stands for, she'll never tell). It's a coming-of-age story where she realizes the truth matters more than life and death itself. Told in a memoir-style, The End Diary is her last chance to get the truth out about her and Carly Jacobs. It is a LGBT story, but focuses largely on Megan's outlook on life, which may not be a healthy one.

What should readers take away from The End Diary?
In today's society, people are so polarized with social issues and the way society should be run/viewed/etc. We have a lot of hate, and most of it comes from a line in the sand where we see life as us versus them. Megan sees her life in this way--her against the world.

I hope readers see how detrimental this outlook can be to... well, everyone. The End Diary also explores the idea of truth and perspective, as we all perceive the world differently. Her story has a lot of lessons in it, and this explanation only scratches the surface.

Why call this book "The End Diary"?
While Megan has feelings for Carly and there is a small (echoed: small) romance in The End Diary, that is not the core of the story. The core of the story is much deeper, drearier, and darker than a romance and first love. As Megan says in the very first chapter of The End Diary:

But I should preface this with a warning: this story probably doesn’t have a happy ending. If it does, on some level, I’ve failed. There shouldn’t be a knight in shining armor swinging in at the last second—or riding in? Is that a better visual? Whatever. He won’t ride in at the end of the story and say, “Hey, Megan, guess what? I’m saving you.” And boom, story’s over.

It is called The End Diary because there is supposed to be a sense of finality and foreboding right from the get-go. Megan's character is strong enough to pull you into her story and life despite her accidental spoilers and hints (she chastises herself as a writer). She's unhappy and frustrated, but she is ready to let the world know the truth in her manifesto.

Be sure to check out The End Diary on Wattpad!

Hipstopia Goodreads Giveaway Live!

As promised, the Goodreads Giveaway went live, and you guys are being informed!  There's five paperback copies up for grabs, so head on over and check it out :)

It's been three years since Murphy led the Hipster uprising. For three years, Jay has been by his side. All that's about to change. It starts with the beautifully intense Prisoner Forty-Seven... and a loaded gun.

Hipstopia is the first book in Young Adult Dystopian duet, The Uprising.

Hope you all had a great July 4th for those that celebrate it.  We stayed home with our cats - but fireworks went off all day around the neighborhood (which personally doesn't make a whole lot of sense, seeing as how you can't see them in the middle of the day).  But hey, whatever makes you happy!

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Hipstopia

by R. A. Desilets

Giveaway ends July 17, 2013.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter to win

Hipstopia Cover Reveal!

The month has finally come when my next novelette/novella is released (is 110 pages a novelette or a novella? Whatever, it’s 110 pages, you decide)!

Hipstopia is 20 days away from release – TWENTY! All the exclamation points!

Since we’re 20 days away, it was only appropriate to finally reveal the cover. I’m not going to take away from Jaclyn’s thunder at JC’s Book Haven – which means you guys should take the trek over to her blog and see the cover :)

Expect another blog post when the goodreads giveaway goes live!  

Hipstopia will be out in paperback and available on Kindle on July 22, 2013.

Almost 200 Followers

One follower away from almost 200 has me thinking.  I should probably make a post with my favorite quotes from all of my current works in progress.  Short and sweet, but fun fun fun.

"My Summer Vacation by Terrance Wade" - Short Story, Humor
My dad always told me, "Terrance, if you see your mom trying to get in through that door, you lock it - you understand?"  So when my mom comes in through the window, I'm thankful it's not that door.

Rioss - YA GBLT Urban Fantasy
He opened his mouth to answer me, but before he could get any words out black and red bile spewed from his mouth.

RUHE - YA Contemporary
Delia threw her arms out in an elaborate gesture.  "My messenger name is Delialovesyou.  I know, super cute, right?  Totally.”

Soul Therapy - YA Paranormal Romance
She never really could get used to the underlying sense of desire he exuded. It oozed out, and he always seemed too eager, which is why Jess hadn’t done anything with him. She hadn’t decided if he was worth it.

2042 - Science Fiction

    "Okay, no, really... who put you up to this?  Albert?"  I hollered down the hallway.  Albert poked his head out of the office.  I got up out of my chair and pointed to the machine thing, it was still reaching for me.  "Did you get this guy?  What is it, a new kind of robot-ogram?" Albert walked towards me and stopped as he saw the clunking machine.  The machine's eye refocused on Albert.

    "Albert Stevenson?"

    "Kayla, I think you should..."  Albert stammered out a few words before the robot interrupted him.

    "Albert Stevenson, you should really return those DVDs."  Its voice boomed.  Albert's face whitened.

Good Criminal Heart - YA GBLT
Blood trickled down the back of my head and my knuckles were dropping blood.  My blood, and Nick’s blood, in one beautiful mess that spread throughout the hallway floor.

Kingdom of Obsession - Contemporary
“But nothing, Cat.  You and David split for the same reason in my ‘dream.’”  I rolled by eyes, “And mom only found her cancer because of the accident that never happened… but did happen.  In my...” Other life, second life, dream, memory, “Whatever, it was as if that accident never happened.”

That's all the teasers I have for today.  Rioss is officially in the hands of an editor!  And yes, it is one that I am paying for, but she's crazy amazing, and I'm excited for her feedback.  I have a good feeling about this one, folks!

Monthly Book Recommendations

Birthmarked by Caragh M. O'Brien
YA Science Fiction - Dystopian

Highly recommended because of the main character, Gaia.  O'Brien creates an amazing character that works so fluidly in the dystopian world of the Enclave.  She accidentally falls into the hero role because of her good nature and naivety - and her blind determination to save her parents from jail.  O'Brien's writing is well composed, descriptive, and still has you hanging on the edge of your seat.  Though it is not as action packed as some other YA Dystopian novels, I feel like this one is a great change of pace for someone that wants a mellower, but still intriguing Sci-Fi read.  I have a longer review on examiner.com.
*TBR Pile Challenge book*

Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion 
YA Zombies / Horror / Romance

Here’s the deal: People that expect this to be a gnarly, gut ripping out, zombie story will be in for disappointment (I wasn’t disappointed in the slightest, though, and I love brain gushing zombies as much as the next person). While Isaac Marion does give us several gory details, his story focuses on “R” a zombie that is way too intelligent. A zombie that feels trapped in a useless body and a useless life and wants to find a reason to live again. Enter Julie. He happens to fall in love with her because he ate part of her boyfriend’s brain (whoops). Marion does a great job with describing what it would be like to be an intellectual person stuck in a rotting, walking corpse. The descriptions are fantastic, and I overall really love the story.  I have a longer review on examiner.
*TBR Pile Challenge book*


Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead
YA Urban Fantasy / Vampires
I know, I am so far behind the times.  I picked this up solely on a whim and because some people on goodreads really recommend it.  I wasn't disappointed, but I think the pacing could have been a bit strong in the beginning.  But once I got into it, I tell you... Richelle created an amazingly vicious and beautiful vampire world.  My hope for this series is that it gets a little bit darker, because I really want some deliciously dark YA vampire stuff.  But so far so good, it didn't disappoint, and thus it makes it onto my recommendations list.  For a longer review check my examiner. 
*TBR Pile Challenge book* 

Try Not to Breathe by Jennifer R. Hubbard
YA Contemporary / Fiction

I had the pleasure of reading this as an Advanced Reader's Copy - and was I happy that I won it.  Jennifer Hubbard's writing was so enticing.  She did such a good job at portraying what life would be like after an attempted suicide.  Ryan's brain is muddled, confused, and he's just starting to figure himself out.  Hubbard's writing and pacing are quiet, but they sneak up to you.  Her words weasel their way into your brain and you are thinking about them for a long time afterward.  This is a great read if you want a change of pace from the action-packed dystopian literature.  I was very pleased.  My full review is on examiner.
*ARC Book*

Can You Hit a Perfect Pitch Blogfest Contest

Brenda Drake holds a lot of awesome blogfest contests.  This one is the first 150 words of your manuscript and a two sentence pitch in attempts to catch the interest of agent Ammi-Joan Paquette.  You can find the blogfest contest rules here.

Any critiques and comments would be helpful, as I want this to read really well by the 17th :)  I know the pitch needs a lot of cleaning!  Give me your thoughts!  I look forward to seeing everyone's entries!

Title: Ruhe
Genre: YA Contemporary
Word Count: 50,000

Pitch:

After Sophie’s vicious gossip ruins her high school friendships, she takes a vow of silence.  But when a college relationship take a dangerous turn, Sophie needs to use the same voice that once destroyed her.

First 150 Words:

            My father dropped the last bag with a huff and looked over at the long winding sidewalk towards the main dormitory on campus.  "Are you sure you don't want us to come in with you?"

            I shook my head.

            My mother arched an eyebrow.  She looked at the measly two bags I had packed.  "We could come back with more of your stuff, you know.  It's not a far drive."

            I shook my head.  I didn't want anything else.  Everything that was left at home was there for a reason.  The old letter jacket from Ched, the worn out mini-skirt that had been to one too many parties... everything was a reminder of who I used to be.  This was a fresh start, or it was supposed to be.  I didn't know how much of a fresh start I could get at a state school.

I Heart YA Giveaway Hop

It isn't happening right this second, but it's coming up fast!  I recently stole from my library (okay, stealing just sounds cooler - in actuality, I bought three YA hardcovers, one YA softcover for $3.25... which is a steal.  I haven't read any of them, but I wanted to read them asap and then give them away this year).  It amuses me that I will probably spend more on shipping than I did on the actual books.  (I like italics today).

Regardless, I plan on listing the titles for the giveaway and the winner can choose one of the books to receive.  They are titles that I've never heard of before, save one, and that was part of what attracted me to them.

Regardless, if you want to participate in this super awesome blog hop, click on the button.  Here's the list of rules:

1. The "I Heart YA" Hop Button-- or Image-- must be a part of your giveaway post.
2. You must either include the linky list with all participating blogs at the end of your giveaway post OR link to the giveaway hop page of one of the hosts. (This is so your followers can easily see and enter all of the giveaways!)
3. Your giveaway prize must be a YA book (no gift cards!)
4. No gift cards!
5. Please try to keep your giveaway rules as simple as possible! No more than 4 entries allowed.
6. Your giveaway may only run on the same days as the Hop (Feb. 14 – Feb. 20).
7. Please keep your giveaway visible to your followers throughout the entire hop by posting a link or a button to it at the top of your blog in the sidebar. 

You can sign up for the hop here:  Fictional Distraction  and also see all the other blogs that are signed up.  Sign ups close on February 10th.  Needless to say, my February month giveaway will be this giveaway :) Each month I will be hosting a giveaway by myself, so if you don't win a book this month - you can win next month!

Rioss

I'm now up to 18,000 words, and I'm still pantsing.  I outlined the very beginning of the novel, but honestly, I have no idea what's going to happen in the middle.  The characters keep surprising me, which I am thankful for, since they won't allow me just to write the main plot.  They keep introducing side stories and sub characters, and unsuspected villains... etc.

As far as #WIP500 is concerned, it's going well.  I've written at least 500 words every day, including 2,000 yesterday.  I know it is only one week in, but I feel like I'm being held accountable by some mythical internet beings (and Cara Michaels).

* * * Rioss Excerpt * * *


Marc’s hair was plastered against his forehead, caked on by a mixture of sweat and a thin layer of grime. He had just showered yesterday. In fact, all of him looked so much more alive yesterday. He had a blush that was spread across his face, tone in his skin, and all of that was gone. One day with the guards had stripped him of anything that made him look alive. He walked up to us, but walked was the wrong word. He limped? His whole body looked rigid, as if he lacked the very essence of movement.

Trixy and I exchanged a glance. Concern welled in her eyes. I didn’t know what to make of it - what had happened to make him look so bad in just one day?

He collapsed in the seat next to me. His body trembled slightly as the air around him turned cold, or was he just that cold?

“What did they do to you?” I said under my breath, as if we were being watched. I tried to ignore the other patients' eyes on us, there were no guards, no orderlies, no reason to be paranoid, but I was. This wasn’t supposed to happen to people - even if people made me feel the way Marc did. Though, sitting next to him now, there was no threat. All of my body stopped being on edge, and I was actually worried about him.

“They wanted me to eat,” Marc said. He flopped his head down on the table and grumbled some more words into the plastic.

Trixy arched an eyebrow at me, “Isn’t that usually supposed to make people feel better?”

Marc coughed, his whole body heaved and shook with it. He used his arms to prop his head up. It looked like it was taking all of his strength just to lift his head off the table. He looked at Trixy with the same sideways smile that he always had. “I told them it wouldn’t work.” His eyes glazed over.  He was distant, lost. “That’s not the way I eat. They put an IV in my arm.” He showed us the crook of his elbow, a deep, red and black bruise had spread throughout the area. It looked like a rash from allergies.

“What are you talking about?” I hissed.

He opened his mouth to answer me, but before he could get any words out, black and red bile spewed from his mouth. The bloody liquid spread across the table and leaked in large drips onto the floor.

Monthly Book Recommendations

Happy New Year!  If you are anything like me, you are probably feeling a little under the weather this morning.  Though I don't party like I used to (college is only two and a half years behind me, but it seems like a lifetime ago), I do love the beginning of another year!  A few glasses of wine or champagne, and I can celebrate a new year with my beloved husband.  We go into part two of our first year as a married couple - and it has been brilliant so far.

We have arguments, sure.  And sometimes, for an outsider looking in, you might think "What on earth are they doing together?!"  But five seconds later, you blink and you miss it, we're back at our best.  You think, "There is no one better suited to be together."  That argument that seemed to last a lifetime was no longer than five minutes.

And most of the moments we spend together?  Perfect.  In every way.  I even love the arguments, because they prove that we still have our own opinions and thoughts - we were not put on this earth just to please each other, but to push each other to be our best.  And that's what he makes me, he pushes me to be my best.

But enough kind words for the man in my life, here's what you all were waiting for!   
The monthly recommendations:

Human.4 by Mike A. Lancaster
YA Science Fiction

You are now obsolete.  Everyone else has been upgraded, save our main character and a handle of other people.  Kyle has been left behind.  Mike Lancaster paints the story as a teenager would, giving the key details, but leaves out a massive amount of description, but he gives us enough.  It is a fast paced book that flies by.  It's a simpler story with a straightforward plot - but it is very interesting nonetheless.  I like it, and describe it as another "snack read."  At the end, I was satisfied, but I wanted a bit more from Kyle's story.  There is apparently, according to Goodreads, a book titled 1.4 coming out in January.  I don't see how this novel could have a sequel, but I would still be interested in reading it.

Dearly, Departed by Lia Habel
YA Sci-Fi

Guys... you must.  This book.  This.  It is one of the best YA romances I've read in awhile - and it has zombies!  ZOMBIES!  The fact that our beloved main character, Nora, takes a good half the book to really fall in love with Bram, it makes it that much more touching.  It is believable, even though he's totally and completely dead.  And Habel takes some liberties with story telling, every chapter is from a different character's point of view.  And it is done quite flawlessly.  Her use of Victorian language, the style of prose, all of it is pretty incredible.  This is a bit of a harder read for YA, which is why I think it is a great crossover book (or it at least has cross over appeal).


Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor
YA Fantasy (on the cusp of Urban Fantasy - but it's more Fantasy)
When this book was coming to an end, for some reason, I really wanted it to stand entirely alone.  I think Taylor did such a good job at sucking me into the main character that I wanted to have her story wrap up at the end.  I know there's so much more that she can go into, and I will definitely pick the next book up - but I still wanted the ending to be "good" for our main character, instead of being a bit more ambiguous.  With that being said, Taylor does well with description.  The end gets a little heavy handed with telling instead of showing - but the rest of the novel is beautifully woven.  Because of this, I do recommend it.  I wrote a full review on my examiner.com page.

Rioss

My new work in progress, inspired by Sarah Rios (or really, just one of the many people that has been encouraging me to write this piece).  I'm up to 7,000 words, and hope to finish an additional 25k before I go back to work (next Tuesday).

A brief tidbit:  Jeremy told his parents that he was a werewolf.  They thought he was insane and dropped him off in Rioss Hospital.  It is in the hospital that the story unfolds.  Here's an excerpt:

         But the scream was so guttural. It had seemed urgent, like life or death. Usually, when people screamed in here, it was madness. It would be shrill and would last for minutes, and it would happen again and again. This was once, and then it was silenced. The doctors wouldn’t have been able to get to her that fast.

I don’t know why I was so worried. Screams happened all the time at Rioss, but all the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. Something told me not to go to bed, and I stayed up, eyes trained on the window. If I saw a shadow, heard any footsteps, I would lunge. Five minutes passed without any more noises, just the usual shuffling of feet to the sides of me. Some deep moans from people that were forced into sleep by enough drugs that would induce a coma on any normal person. The window remained empty, but it was my only way to see out of my dingy room.

If anyone was coming for me, I would be ready. Ten minutes passed. Then fifteen. Then the shadows on the walls changed. Someone moved outside, but too fast. Someone was - another scream. Blood curdling like the one before, but on this floor. Again, it died as quickly as it had started. I heard the same voice, still muddled. Relax, it said. I crouched close to the wall, my heart pounding in my chest. Five more minutes, then ten. The shadows changed patterns again. A distant latch on a door clicked into place. Silence.

After a few more minutes, the only thing I could hear was the pounding of my blood rushing through my head.

Soul Therapy Excerpt

            She shed her clothes in the hallways, after making sure that no one else was home.  Steam from the hot water of the bath slowly circled, filling the room.  She eased her breathing and pressed down on her legs.  They were still shaking furiously from the dream.  The icy feeling had stayed with her, even though the images of the thunderous sky overhead had long since disappeared.  A layer of ice formed on the window, cracked and spreading outward in fingerlike spindles.  Jess rested her fingertips on it as she waited.  It didn’t feel cold, but she did.  Her bones ached, her muscles were strained from the intense walk that she had felt.  It wasn’t real, but she felt it.  It was impossible, but it had happened.

            Her fingers ruffled through her hair one more time.  Jess tried to convince herself that she wasn’t soaking wet, that it was all a dream.  The hollow feeling that had carved itself inside of her seemed unwilling to let go.  She tested the water with her toes, then slowly lowered herself in.  The heat prickled on her skin, almost scalding hot at first.  Jess curled up in the water, feeling it floating across her skin.  Her breathing steadied further as warmth spread through the rest of her body. 

            She closed her eyes, but for a moment too long and was back in the field, staring up at an angry, darkened sky.  She pried her eyes open and gasped.  The force of her breath knocked her back into reality.  Jess stared at the running water, her hazel eyes intense, wide.  She tested her eyes, blinking for moments too long and felt herself falling into the other reality, into the dream.  Jess stretched out her legs in front of her and turned the water off.  How long could she go without sleep?  

-----
Slowly, I am getting better at editing.  I start to see the patterns in my own writing, and I try to pry them back.  Forcing my words, my sentences to be more open, fluid, and less repetitive.  This excites me, actually.  For once, I think the prospect of editing my work is fantastic.  Being able to recreate the flow, craft each sentence into being full and complete.  This particular descriptive passage I liked the first time around, but with one sweep of editing, I like it even more.  I still remain enthusiastic over this piece, and I hope I can find an agent out there that feels the same.

Monthly Recommendations

With NaNoWriMo now at a close, I present to you my monthly recommendations.

Uglies by Scott Westerfeld
YA Dystopian
I had to admit, looking at the premise of the story, I was a little skeptical as to whether or not I would like it.  Uglies is the first book of Westerfeld's series - and it is based on looks.  Everyone is ugly until they are 16, then they get an operation and turn pretty.  But life isn't so easy for Tally Youngblood and nothing seems to go as she planned.  The end of the first book put me in a daze, although it did take me awhile to really start loving Tally as a MC.  She seemed very boring at first, very run of the mill, but as you soon find out, her coming of age story brings her into excellence.  I quickly grabbed the second book in the series, Pretties, and was not disappointed.

Blood Red Road by Moira Young
YA Dystopian (of sorts, more futuristic, but in a society that is so dystopian that our main character doesn't even know that much about the past - they don't even have guns - bows and arrows all the way!)
Do not judge this book within the first 25 pages, I almost did - and I almost missed out.  Moira Young action packs the book, it's 460 pages of dialogue and action.  What was hard to swallow was the way the main character, Saba, talks (writes).  She doesn't use quotations, she uses "an" instead of "and" but once you get past the dialect, this book is fantastic.  I couldn't put it down - and literally finished reading it in a day.  Though the style was hard to get into, once you are into it, you are there.  Saba's world comes to life and you are enthralled by this strong girl that is going across the world to save her brother.  This is the "princess saves the prince" story, and it's really incredible.  For a debut novel, Moira Young certainly hits the mark.  Highly recommended.

The Imperfectionists by Tom Rachman
Adult Fiction
Another debut novel that is fantastic.  Tom Rachman creates the world surrounding the newsroom.  This book is great to pick up once and awhile if you don't have time for longer works - each chapter is a very fluid, brilliantly written short story that focuses on one of that staff members, and even a reader, of the same newspaper.  The story is interwoven to an extent, and each comes to its own brilliant ending.  This is worth a read, because the stories are beautiful.  His characters are deep, flawed, and perfect all at once.  Some of the stories are funny, heart-wrenching, or downright disastrous. 

Day 21: Have a Teaser

She clung to her legs and squeezed her eyelids together.  Come on, she said to herself.  Come on, if I can just get back there one more time, I know I can figure it out.  She imagined the field.  She could almost taste the sweet air that had once filled her lungs.  A bird flapped its wings.  She opened her eyes and stared at the graffiti covered door in front of her.

Jess swung her leg out, kicking the toilet paper dispenser.  The force of it reverberated in the walls and sent a shock wave through her leg.  Her nose scrunched as the repugnant smell from the toilets reached her nostrils and nestled there.

Her head spun, the ground fell away from her feet.  She floated on nothing, and the turning of her stomach wouldn’t stop.  Jess hopped down from the toilet and threw the lid open, just in time to retch her stomach bile into the stained toilet.  It only made her gag more, seeing that spill out from inside her.  

-----

Though a part of me is disappointed, I am grateful my manuscript is no longer "hanging in the balance."  I received a solid "No," which means I have more places to submit it to!  I have never received a rejection, other than for short stories, because I've never submitted.  The fact that I had the strength to submit, finally, only gives me more hope for myself as a writer.

And besides, there were only 30 (35?) winners out of 300 - and there are some brilliant, unpublished authors out there.  RUHE may not be the strongest piece of work by me, but it is the first finished piece.  It is coherent, and it does have a decently strong female lead, but it is more of the typical coming of age.  

But I'm very excited for Soul Therapy (again, I still need a new title) because it is less typical, and my main character suffers from huge anxiety - see excerpt above.

I think she touches on something that a lot of people overlook.  Panic disorder is a real thing, something that many people struggle with, myself included.  Granted, I'm not nearly as bad as Jessica is, but I find it hard to control my own emotions.  A surge of fear sweeps over your every cell, the hairs on the back of your neck stretch upwards and you can't explain it, you simply are worried, panicking, over everything.  You think, this is it, this is the end of the world, the end of my life.  Your breath outruns you and your body starts to act like your are drowning on air.

It's heavy, it's frustrating.  And a lot of people don't discuss it.  Hell, a lot of people think that it is "normal" to have some anxiety.  There is a difference between a stressful situation versus being unable to breathe, move, or function because you are shaking so much.

If I had known panic attacks existed when I was younger, I wouldn't have assumed that it was "normal."  I would have realized that there was something different about the way I see the world.  And with that knowledge, I might have handled a lot of things in my teenage years in a very different manner.  Though, I must say, my curling up into a ball underneath the covers with my teeth chattering because I was freezing in 100 degree weather certainly makes for a good character.  Jess is the pinnacle of that:  Someone who is afraid of disappointing anyone with massive anxiety attached.

And I love her, probably a little bit too much, because she is so close to home.  RUHE was the opposite.  I had no knowledge of that girl's life, I had never been in her shoes - I still think her story is interesting, but I didn't have such a connection with her.  Jess is different.  We're kindred, and because of that, I think Soul Therapy will be my stronger piece, and possibly, the first piece I get published.