We're in a Forest

Right now, there's no clear cut path. The political turmoil has everyone feeling unhinged, lodged in a dark, endless forest. We should be traveling this path together, guiding each other through while holding hands, but all I see is hatred, spreading on both sides of the fence.

Politically, I will disagree with Republicans on a lot of levels, but I am respectful and open to discussion. They have beliefs, as do I. I will not shun them for having beliefs, as different as they might be from my own.

I want to talk to people in person. I want to discuss things rationally. I want to keep our voices calm and have a meaningful, open, and honest conversation. I want to walk through the forest with you, not trample all over your ideas or thoughts.

In my social studies class in eleventh grade, I was the only liberal student. Whenever there was a political discussion, everyone turned to me for my "liberal" opinion. I never pretended to represent everyone. I don't. I am my own person with my own life experiences and opinions. That's the core of it. Everyone believes different things for different reasons.

One person does not represent all of us.

Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth. - Abraham Lincoln

How are we supposed to be a united country when we aren't willing to have civilized discussions with each other? How are we supposed to know what our neighbors need to be successful when we are screaming on the internet? How are we supposed to represent each other, when we refuse to calmly explain ourselves?

I am not talking about posting about your opinions in the echo chamber of your social media groups. Social media is fantastic for finding like-minded people, but unfortunately, this creates a vacuum around you where anything that is the "other" can easily be muted, removed, or blocked. You (as well as I) are surrounded by people who are telling you you're right. There are two sides to every story. If we do not learn the story of the "other," we are committing them to be less respected and worse, less human. Which, in light of the way things have been going on the internet, has translated into name calling, hate speech, and other awful words.

Would you say what you're posting to someone's face? If so, fine. Keep saying it on the internet, because you are representing who you are. If not, then maybe you should press backspace. Maybe you should message the person directly when you are calmer. Maybe you should open a dialogue and say that you honestly want to talk about it. Reach out. Be friendly. Be respectful.

Life has brought us to various points in the forest, but in order for us to survive, we have to start making connections with each other. We cannot navigate this life alone. And I, personally, refuse to navigate the woods by myself, especially at night.

We are stronger together and that includes everyone.

I realize I'm saying this from the anonymity of the internet, using a faceless mask to get a point across, but this is one of love and not hatred. This is one of wanting real life connection and discussion. I invite anyone who knows me to have a conversation with me. I invite anyone who doesn't to connect with me so we can talk further.

More than anything, I invite everyone to walk with me. Travel this path with me and maybe we can all learn something. We're not so different. We want to protect our homes and our children. We want to protect ourselves and our beliefs. We want what is best and that shouldn't make us hate each other.

YA Gets Real: New Girl

Harvey smirked, giving me a slick sideways glance with his dark brown, almond-shaped eyes. He slid his chair a little closer to me. We were in our homeroom in the science lab. I was surprised when he sat down next to me, but became even more surprised when he kept staring.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi?"

"What's your name?"

I swear my jaw dropped to the floor. Over the summer, I had gotten laser eye surgery, finally ridding myself of the thick bottle glasses that had framed my face since before first grade. But I was still the same old me. Same red braid off to one side, same crystal eyes, same fair skin.

"Anna? You know, the girl you've been in school with since we were six?" I inched my chair away from him, and it grated against the tiles.

He narrowed his eyes, looking me up and down with keen interest. It practically made my skin run out of the room without me. "Anna ..." Harvey leaned back in his chair, rocking on two legs for a second as he switched his eyes to the ceiling. "Cunningham?" The chair slammed back down on the ground as he leaned onto the lab table.

"Harvey, jeez, yeah." I swallowed. My fingers curled around my bag, ready to run or hit him with it depending on whatever he said next.

"Huh." His eyebrows furrowed. Even when he looked confused, he was still fairly attractive. I mean, he was Harvey Orion, pretty much the pinnacle of the stars coming down and making a guy in their dream image. "You look ... different."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't have glasses anymore."

"Oh." He paused, frowning. "That must be it. So anyway, you're, like, really hot, Anna."

I continued staring at him with an arched eyebrow, not sure if that warranted a response. Surely he tried harder to date Sandra and Katrina, right? They were gorgeous. It had to have taken more of an effort than "you're, like, really hot."

"We should go on a date or whatever. You know?"

"No, I don't know." I grabbed my bag and stood up. "We've gone eleven years of our lives not speaking to each other. Why don't we make it the full twelve. Okay?" I turned to leave, but he snagged my arm.

"Anna, don't be like that. Just because I didn't recognize you doesn't mean-"

"It means everything, Harvey. I was invisible to you just because of my glasses." I yanked my hand back and shook it like his were hot coals. "I would never date someone as shallow as that." I went to the front of the room and slid into another seat.

Just as I did, Rebecca whispered a little too loudly to her neighbor, "What's the new girl's problem?"

I banged my forehead against the desk. This was going to be a long start to senior year.

- - -

YA Gets Real is a parody young adult flash fiction series where my main characters experience typical tropes that you can find in Young Adult Literature. I love Young Adult, but I use this series to turn the typical encounter on its head. If you like YA Gets Real, consider sharing it with someone you know would get a kick out of it. Check out all the past stories here.

Book Reading: Hipstopia

I have a feeling that reading out loud is something that you get better at with practice. For the first time ever, I can be seen reading Hipstopia, my YA dystopian satire about hipsters taking over Los Angeles.

I was definitely a bit nervous, as this hasn't been something I've even attempted in the past. But I'm fairly happy with my first attempt. Enjoy! And happy reading!

Staying Creative to Beat the Blues

Some of you know that I take a lot of pretty photos, mostly of Oregon seeing as how I live here. A few of them are on @OregonIsGross on Instagram.

Last year, my creativity took a nose dive. I had no direction. I was struggling to publish even one book, let alone work on my other ones. I distracted myself with video games, and then I fell in love with running. At first, running was also a distraction. I needed something to do because my mind was restless. I wasn't being creative anymore, and frankly, I was more than in a "slump."

As I started to run farther, I explored more and more just in my own neighborhood. I started to find trails. I started to look for new places. I started to find beauty in everything. The first creative spark I had in ages was back, and it was because I wanted to jump back into photography.

Staying active helped keep my health up, but I still wasn't all that motivated to go back to sitting in a chair to read or write. It was when my back finally gave out (probably months of running without properly stretching mixed with stress mixed with a terrible snow storm that got me trapped in a car for three hours) that I realized there has to be a balance in life. You can't be active all the time. There's a time and a place for everything.

Since it is winter, and it somehow keeps snowing in Portland, I have hung up the running hat until it warms up a bit. I've started doing yoga, which I can do from the comfort of inside my warm house, and have picked up reading and writing again. Obviously, I'm also back to blogging with a vengeance. It has been too long since I've seen the creative side of myself, and I'm determined to make 2017 the year that I figure out how to balance work, life, and play.

I'm also really excited to start doing little photo updates for you all. There are some amazing shots I've managed to take throughout the year, and I plan on going on more hikes and adventures once the weather is warmer.

What do you do when it's cold outside? How do you stay warm and beat the January blues?

Excerpt: Girl Nevermore

Purchase your copy on Amazon

Girl Nevermore is my dark contemporary young adult novel based on real life events. When I was much younger, my best friend at the time tried to take her own life while sitting next to me in class. She went to the bathroom with the pass that hung by the door, was gone for a while, and came back a completely different person.

She slowly started fading away as she sat next to me.

The image of her eyes haunted me for almost a decade, and I still remember the look she gave me to this day, but I've grown up a lot since then. While the helplessness I felt in that moment used to cause me anxiety, I've realized I'm much stronger now and much more sympathetic because of it.

Thankfully, my friend is still alive, but some people do not get second chances like she did. I've lost a lot of people - a lot of good people - along the way, and I cannot imagine how it would have been to lose her in that moment.

Girl Nevermore's story grew from that single moment, and the thoughts and feelings that I had after. I never truly grasped how much it affected me until later on in life. But events like that change you.

If you are in the mood for a dark story, Cooper's journey is full of life lessons, things that took me a lot longer than her to realize. Today, I am sharing a small piece of Girl Nevermore with you. Cooper finds the journal that her twin sister, Kayla, had been keeping. Over the course of the book, she reads her sister's writing. Kayla never seemed so alive, and then ... Well, I'll let you read to find out the rest. Enjoy the excerpt from Kayla's found journal below:

We pulled into the park, stealing drinks from the flask he keeps in his glove compartment. We leaned against the side of his car, passing it back and forth, him taking bigger gulps than me.

When the sprinklers came on, I was already a little light-headed, feeling freer than I had in a long time. I kicked off my shoes and ran into the grass barefoot, laughing as water soaked through my jeans, my shirt, everything. The grass squelched between my toes, and I watched him watching me. His dark eyes never left my body.

It felt blissful, perfect.

Trent and I don’t talk much. There’s not much to say. We just are. We’re two different people who are from separate parts of the universe. But when we collide, our worlds smash together with such fire I can barely breathe. I want to take the feeling he gives me and bottle it up, keep it for whenever I need it.

This kind of perfection never lasts a lifetime. I’m not stupid. But that’s why I’m soaking it all in. I take every chance I can get with him to make up for all the insignificant moments that will happen later. Because as long as I live, I will never meet anyone who makes me feel as alive as Trent does now.

I spun around in the middle of the field until the stars collapsed in on themselves, blending together into one blurring ball of light. I wanted to kiss that sky, get sucked up into it and dance forever.

When I stopped, the world kept moving around me. Trent marched right through the sprinklers, dropped the flask in the field, and wrapped his arms around me. He kissed me with such an intensity I thought I would melt right into his skin.

That’s how he makes me feel, like I could become something bigger than myself. I’ve never felt that kind of power before. I grinned the whole way home, wondering how I got so lucky, but also wondering how I was going to keep this a secret.

Because I want Trent to be mine and just mine. I don’t want to share any of these moments with anyone else. They are too beautiful, too enormous. And I’m afraid if I tell someone, they might become a little bit smaller, and that would ruin the magic we have now.