Deja Vu Blog Hop

There's another awesome blog hop going on (and though I cannot get the widget to work, I can still link to it).  Take some time to cruise the other blogs over at: DL Hammon's Blog.  There are some really good entries out there that went overlooked the first time around.

The deal is you re-post one of your previous blog entries.  This is mine from when I first started blogging, and didn't have many followers.  It is from Derrick's perspective (one of the really good friends of my MC in Good Criminal Heart - work in progress) and I think it captures him almost perfectly.  I love Derrick as a character, more than my MC, to be honest, and that's why I loved this post.  This is not supposed to be a finished piece, this will never be published (except on here).  This is Anthony's story, not Derrick's - but Derrick plays a huge role.  It was a fun exercise, and I still invite feedback if you care to give any.

Here's the original (with some editing to spiff it up a bit!):

Kelli slid towards us after the show was over.  I tried to turn my back on her, but something about her made it impossible.  It might be the fact that she follows your eyes wherever you turn.  She wouldn’t let me forget about her.  So eventually I gave in.  There was nothing about her I particularly liked – but it wasn’t like I hated her either.  The ratty nest of bleached blonde hair with black underneath, the dark make up coating her eyes, the pink lip gloss that she used, the over-sized t-shirt that she wore dangling off of one shoulder, it all made her a complete scene girl, and for whatever reason, she had decided to fall for me.  I never could tell her that I wasn’t that into it, into her, but I figured, what else did I really have going for me at the time?  She wasn’t a bad girl, she just wasn’t particularly nice either.

“So where are we going?”  She smacked her gum chewing lips together and tossed her hair behind her shoulder, it fell in a clump.  I looked to the guys – they were already doing their thing.  Anthony was talking with Tyler and Jess about god knows what, and Eric was already off with his girl, what the hell was her name again?  It was one of Kelli’s friends – I didn’t know.  I always thought it was weird that someone would be into him.  Eric was scruffy, he had long hair, was kind of dirty, and was really lazy.  Sure, he came up with great lyrics for our band and was somewhat of a musical genius, but if we weren’t going to become famous, he really had no future to speak of.  Kelli’s friend was what you would call gorgeous, short, petite, a pixie brown haircut and eyes to make you melt.  I never understood it.

“No idea,” I shrugged the band’s gear onto my shoulders.  “Tyler, is your car open?”  He was still talking to Anthony – who looked bored, but he always looked bored.  The crossed arms, jaded look in his eyes, shuffling his feet every minute or so, yup, bored.  Maybe Anthony was always bored.

"Tyler, your car man?”  He tossed me the keys without even looking.  Kelli swooped down and plucked them off the floor.

“Perfect,” she got a smirk on her face.  I almost sighed, but followed her swaying body out back towards the car.  I put in two of the cases, shut the trunk, and turned around before Kelli crashed into me.  Her lips collided with mine.  I wondered if other guys ever felt this way – completely and utterly molested when a girl kissed them.  Did they just “go with it to” or were they actually into it?  And it wasn’t that I wasn’t into Kelli – okay, it really was that I wasn’t into her, but what was I supposed to do?  So I kissed her back and felt miserable about it.  I continued to keep up a charade with her, and for what?  She was just using me, probably not the same way that I was her, but it was still similar.  She had no interest in the type of person I was, she probably couldn’t even tell what color my eyes were if I shut them.  She was just, dare I say it?  A groupie.

That’s when we heard the screaming and saw Anthony and Tyler run into the alleyway.  “Should we go help them?”

“Naw, let them take care of it – Tyler’s strong, I mean, you’ve seen the guy right?”  Kelli rested her head on my chest.  On instinct, I put my arm around the small of her back.  “He’s so handsome, I mean have you ever seen his muscles? Ugh.”  I made a face as Jess came up from behind Kelli.

“Excuse me, bitch?”  Jess's lips pursed, her hands on her hips.  Jess was overprotective of Tyler, for good reason.  Tyler never realized how many girls threw themselves at him on a daily basis, but Jess did.

I inched myself away from them as their voices raised, cussing and screaming at each other.  I stared up at the sky, I could just barely see the outlines of the clouds in the dark, midnight blue.

Winter Wishlist: Week 2

Week Two of the Winter Wishlist Blog Hop!

This week is about posting what I would love to give during the holiday season.  So this is kind of like my monthly recommendations, in a way.  This is going to include books and bookish things :)  There are so many awesome recommendations out there - so please check out the other blogs that are participating in this hop!!  Here we go!

The Books

The Child Thief - YOU MUST READ THIS.  I can't believe I forgot about it until now.  Brom's version of Peter Pan is not only fantastically mischievous and a little evil, but our main character is a problem child of his own.  This version of Peter Pan is more twisted than what you get from Disney, and it's so well written.  Beautiful words, characters, and voices.  Really, I cannot say enough about how much I love this book.  Seriously, put it on your wish list - now.  (Maybe I should do a giveaway of this book at some point - ooohh boy).  [As Read Now, Sleep Later points out:  This is a very dark book - you probably shouldn't read this if you are squeamish or don't like dark books]

What Dreams May Come - Yes, I know it was a sappy cheesefest of a movie (but honestly, I love Robin Williams), but the book is something else.  While the movie only scratches the surface, the book dives into philosophical topics of what afterlife is like.  Matheson did his homework - he took a little bit from every kind of religion out there, and interviews from people who were clinically dead before coming back.  And he mushed it all together.  I love this book.  It's a good story, regardless of what you believe religiously or otherwise.

The Vanishing - Here I am being a creeper again.  This book is about a man who finds his wife's kidnapper.  She disappeared without a trace.  And the ending... *shudders*  For a good, short, creepfest, you should read it.  Great character development, great plot, overall... love.

Bookish Things

These might be more writer things, and I might be doing a bit of a shameless plug in promoting them (I designed them) but I still think they are great gifts.  (I bought some for myself for Christmas, and we might buy them for someone else we know for a birthday - shh!)

Regardless, you can get both designs from:  http://adorningschemes.spreadshirt.com/

If you don't know what "I'm on a horse!" is from, you can look at the comic strip for NaNoWriMo:

Anyway, I think that's it for now - if I think of any other recommendations, I will post them later this week :)

What an incredible giveaway!

Okay, I don't normally blog about giveaways on other blogs - but this is epic.  I mean epic!  Not only are there like 20 different books and crafts (okay, I got too excited and didn't count how many there actually are, but trust me, it's a lot) - BUT there is always a giveaway of agent critiques.

That is such a priceless thing in the publishing world!  I'm so entered to this contest - and I think it is incredible! 
So hop on over to the YA Highway's Giveaway!

Note:  Giveaway closes Monday the 19th at midnight PST.

Can We Guess Your Character's Age Contest Entry

Brenda Drake is holding another awesome blogfest contest.  With your comment below, remember to try to guess my character's age as well!

I'm still unsure of this as a beginning -- the first chapter always seems to be the hardest for me.  Though I think it is "getting there."  Any comments/helpful insights would be very welcomed :)  I always love constructive feedback!
 
           My father dropped the last bag with a huff and looked over the long winding sidewalk up to the main set of brownstones xxxxxxxxx.  "Are you sure you don't want us to come in with you?"

            I shook my head.

            My mother arched her eyebrow.  She looked at the measly two bags that I had packed.  "We could come back with more of your stuff, you know.  It's not a far drive."

            I shook my head.  I didn't want anything else.  Everything that had been left at home was there for a reason.  The old jacket from Ched, the worn out skirt that was too small that had been to one too many parties... everything was a reminder of who I used to be.  This was a fresh start, or it was supposed to be.  Though, I didn't know how much of a fresh start I could get here.

            My mother wrapped her arms around me and held me in a hug for a little too long.  I was used to this, after everything I had put them through.  I patted her on the shoulder, attempting to let my thoughts cross into her head.  It would be fine, I wanted to convince her.

            My father hugged me for just a moment before he pulled away and took a hesitant step toward the car.  "We should at least bring your bags up, kiddo.  What if they start asking too many questions?"

            I held up the pad of paper and tried to smile convincingly. 

Soul Therapy Excerpt

            She shed her clothes in the hallways, after making sure that no one else was home.  Steam from the hot water of the bath slowly circled, filling the room.  She eased her breathing and pressed down on her legs.  They were still shaking furiously from the dream.  The icy feeling had stayed with her, even though the images of the thunderous sky overhead had long since disappeared.  A layer of ice formed on the window, cracked and spreading outward in fingerlike spindles.  Jess rested her fingertips on it as she waited.  It didn’t feel cold, but she did.  Her bones ached, her muscles were strained from the intense walk that she had felt.  It wasn’t real, but she felt it.  It was impossible, but it had happened.

            Her fingers ruffled through her hair one more time.  Jess tried to convince herself that she wasn’t soaking wet, that it was all a dream.  The hollow feeling that had carved itself inside of her seemed unwilling to let go.  She tested the water with her toes, then slowly lowered herself in.  The heat prickled on her skin, almost scalding hot at first.  Jess curled up in the water, feeling it floating across her skin.  Her breathing steadied further as warmth spread through the rest of her body. 

            She closed her eyes, but for a moment too long and was back in the field, staring up at an angry, darkened sky.  She pried her eyes open and gasped.  The force of her breath knocked her back into reality.  Jess stared at the running water, her hazel eyes intense, wide.  She tested her eyes, blinking for moments too long and felt herself falling into the other reality, into the dream.  Jess stretched out her legs in front of her and turned the water off.  How long could she go without sleep?  

-----
Slowly, I am getting better at editing.  I start to see the patterns in my own writing, and I try to pry them back.  Forcing my words, my sentences to be more open, fluid, and less repetitive.  This excites me, actually.  For once, I think the prospect of editing my work is fantastic.  Being able to recreate the flow, craft each sentence into being full and complete.  This particular descriptive passage I liked the first time around, but with one sweep of editing, I like it even more.  I still remain enthusiastic over this piece, and I hope I can find an agent out there that feels the same.