K is for Kitten

My husband hates that I call my cat a kitten still.  But in a way, I don't think he will ever grow up.  I want to take the time to introduce you to my Munster cat.  Also known as "Kitten Face" and "Little Face."  He's my baby and I've had him since he was seven weeks old (tiny face!)

Someone rang the doorbell.  Was that the doorbell?  Mom?  Mom?  Mom?  Was that the doorbell?  Grrrrrlll...  Who is out there?  Why am I asking?  Why aren't I hiding under the bed?!  Run!  Run!! HIDE!  Oh my goodness, they are inside.  Mom, who is that?!  MOM!?  MOM!!!!  Phew... I made it.  Under the bed.  Just in time.  Who the heck is out there?

Bird.  There's a bird.  Bird.  Bird.  Look, look, it's a bird.  I can't reach it, so I'm going to chirp at it.  Eek ekekek.... ek.!  Do you think it knows that I'm hunting it?  Holy crap!  That bird is huge!!!  MOM!!! MOM!!! WHAT KIND OF MONSTROUS BIRD IS THAT?!  A CROW?!  IT'S BIGGER THAN I AM!!! MOM!!! MOM!!! MOMMY!!! MOM!!!  Ekekekekek!

Don't mind me... I'm just going to... purrrr.... stretch... purrr.... purrr... stretch... move slightly to the left... And yes!  I have taken the pillow again!  And Mom's still sleeping.  Sweet.  ZzzzZzzZzz... Oh, shoot, hi Mom!  No, I didn't steal the pillow...  purr?  Purrrrrr?  Purrrrr.....  She shifted me out of the warm spot.  No matter.  Stretch, purrr, move slightly to the left and ahhhh...zzz.....

My cat freaks out at the following:

• Large Men
• Crows
• Other cats (chase chase chase)
• The gate opening
• The doorbell (on tv or in real life)
• Knocking (on tv or in real life)
• Windbreaker or snow pants (the sound)
• Me not coming home at exactly 5:20PM
• Not being able to get grass
• Getting grass
• Rakes, brooms, shovels (he won't even be within INCHES of them!)

My cat has the following weird quirks:

• He drinks out of the sink and cries until you turn it on
• When he drinks "normally" out of cat dishes, he puts his paw in, then licks his paw
• He sleeps on the same spot on the couch, if you are sitting there, he just sleeps on you.  He will not sleep on  you if you are not in that exact spot.
• He sleeps on my head, on my pillow, or upside down next to my head with his head nuzzled into my shoulder when I'm sleeping.
• He knows how to wake me up and get me out of bed to do things that he wants.  Example:  I have a craft nook that he reaches his paw in and scrapes everything out of the nook.  When I tell him to stop, he looks at me and meows, with that look on his face that says "I will when you do this for me."  If I don't get up to appease him, he goes right back to it. 
• He really likes to get onto the top of the highest point in the room - include the door frame when possible.