Tuesday, April 10, 2012

I is for Introvert

The Myers-Briggs personality test and I have always hated each other. Why? It has always told me that I am directly in between being an introvert and an extrovert. One year, I got an 11E, 10I and the next, 11I and 10E. My college would put us together with other people with our same "personality" type. I was able to spent one year with Extroverts, and one year with Introverts.  While the Extroverts were more fun and loud (and I laughed a lot), I felt like the Introverts were easier for me to communicate with on a genuine level.

I used to date Extroverted guys. I found myself extremely drawn to people that were the center of attention. I wanted to be right there with them, in the middle of the action. But the relationships never lasted long. While being with an Extrovert is a fun "treat" for me, it's kind of like eating Girl Scout cookies. The pleasure only lasts halfway through the box, and then you started to get sick because you've over-indulged in the experience.

When my husband and I started dating, there was something immediately different with the relationship. There was mutual respect for space, mutual dependency and desire to spend one on one time with each other, and an immediate, incredible attraction that never faltered. And virtually no jealousy on my end - which is saying a lot because I used to be a highly jealous person.

That's when I realized that I actually am an introvert. While I love people and being in groups, while I love concerts and crowds and the energy that emanates from the throng of people, I still need time by myself. I need one on one time with my significant other, and I crave nights at home on the couch - alone.

The best thing I could have ever done for myself was to partner with an introvert. Extroverts are shiny, deadly boxes of cookies - the girl scout kind where you can never stop eating until you realize you are sick to your stomach on deadly sweetness.

But introverts? Mine has become a life partner who gives me one or two cookies a day and never lets me overeat and tells me how wonderful I am without spoiling my appetite with sweetness.

But that's me... and I really like cookies.

Tomorrow I will be posting another excerpt from The Unanswerable.


  1. I've never got on with that test - because, like you came to realise, I know what I am. I'm actually a bizarre mix depending on the day, where I am, who I'm with. I don't need to be in a set group.

    And I like cookies too :-)

    1. We were "required" more or less to take it (I was a Resident Assistant, so it was an attempt to get us to see how everyone else reacts to things/works in groups). It was an interesting experiment, but yeah - I believe most people are a mix of things.

  2. Hello, R.A.! This is a great post, and I especially love the analogy with the cookies! (Now I want cookies, LoL.) I'm an introvert, too. It's funny because I have such a huge family and gatherings are always boisterous and chaotic and I love it! While I do have fun, it does drain my energy and I feel exhausted by the end of the day. I'm always relieved to get home to peace and quiet, just me and my husband or me and a good book!

    Hope you're having a great week and happy A to Z!!

    1. Heh - I was really hungry when I was writing this :) And craving girl scout cookies ;)

      My family is equally huge, but I know exactly what you mean. Super fun, but at the end of the day, I want my hot cocoa and blanket to snuggle under on the couch :)

  3. Great post. I used to long to be an extrovert. I wanted to be loud and fun and interesting. But I actually love being an introvert. I'm still fun and interesting but I think I'm also more respectful. I'd take hot cocoa and snuggling over going out and getting crazy, any day :)

    Nikki – inspire nordic

  4. I love this post! I am always on the border of the two also- so I can relate. Great analogy about the cookies. My boyfriend is an introvert and I really like that. We can go places and socalize, but I also get a lot of quiet time, which I need.