Friday, December 9, 2011

Can We Guess Your Character's Age Contest Entry

Brenda Drake is holding another awesome blogfest contest.  With your comment below, remember to try to guess my character's age as well!

I'm still unsure of this as a beginning -- the first chapter always seems to be the hardest for me.  Though I think it is "getting there."  Any comments/helpful insights would be very welcomed :)  I always love constructive feedback!
           My father dropped the last bag with a huff and looked over the long winding sidewalk up to the main set of brownstones xxxxxxxxx.  "Are you sure you don't want us to come in with you?"
            I shook my head.
            My mother arched her eyebrow.  She looked at the measly two bags that I had packed.  "We could come back with more of your stuff, you know.  It's not a far drive."
            I shook my head.  I didn't want anything else.  Everything that had been left at home was there for a reason.  The old jacket from Ched, the worn out skirt that was too small that had been to one too many parties... everything was a reminder of who I used to be.  This was a fresh start, or it was supposed to be.  Though, I didn't know how much of a fresh start I could get here.
            My mother wrapped her arms around me and held me in a hug for a little too long.  I was used to this, after everything I had put them through.  I patted her on the shoulder, attempting to let my thoughts cross into her head.  It would be fine, I wanted to convince her.
            My father hugged me for just a moment before he pulled away and took a hesitant step toward the car.  "We should at least bring your bags up, kiddo.  What if they start asking too many questions?"
            I held up the pad of paper and tried to smile convincingly. 


  1. I'm going to guess....15.

    The way her parents treat her makes her seem younger, but the way she tries to reassure them and feels independent makes her seem older. So 15 is the median where I fall. It's a good, subtle, opening. :)

  2. I don't think I'm allowed to comment :)

  3. I'm going to go with 18. And I agree with Susan--this opening is great because it's so subtle.

  4. I'm guessing 18, maybe right after high school. I love the last line, it opens up so much possibility. She's all normal, and then we find out she doesn't speak. This is great.

  5. Nicely written. I'm going to guess 18.

    You have a new follower in me;) Hope you can drop by my blog.

  6. I'm thinking 17 because she has had time to get in trouble and understands that she put her parents through a lot. I really love flows easily but hooks you in. I would read on :)

  7. Hey, still trying to get around to everyone's blog even though the contest is over. Great piece! I'd say 17?

    P.S. Cool blog. New follower alert.