He
stopped in his tracks. The horse’s
muzzle shook underneath the reigns behind him.
He could feel the frostbite seeping through his fingertips as the snow
filled in what footprints they had made.
The horse’s breath fell in wisps upon his shoulders, causing a small
break of warmth in the bitter, dead cold of winter. No one ever believed that they would have the
opportunity to die like this, like Miles was currently. He never believed he’d get the chance to
think of his short thirty-two years of life before it was ended. Who would ever believe that through the cold
of winter that you could still feel the fire on your face? You could see you son napping with red
cheeks, curled up next to his favorite stuffed animal.
“Dad,
we can get one someday, right?” He shook
the ragged puppy in Miles’ face.
“Sure,
son, whatever you want, we’ll get it, definitely.”
And
that’s how it all began. The brutal cold
pierced through their cabin, came down the chimney, dowsing their fire. His wife begged him, said it would be too
much on his body, that they could just eat Kasha.
There
was no way Miles would ever let that happen.
The way his son’s face lit up at the prospect of riding her. She was the closest thing he ever had to a
friend. So much for living the nomadic
life.
Something
that no one ever tells you about dying, is the ultimate peace that washes over
you after you’ve already accepted it. It
has that pit of despair, that desperate desire to continue, but there comes a
time when you finally just relax, and accept what’s coming. So this was it, this was Miles’ end. And he wanted so badly just to get Kasha to
safety, or somewhere, maybe that someone could find her.
So he
pushed them forward. She nudged his back
every once and awhile. The brown mare
had her own language. It was if she was
begging him, begging his legs, to keep going, one step at a time. Miles had no regrets. His family would starve if he didn’t get
back, and he supposed that was a regret, but maybe they wouldn’t. He held on hope for them, that this bitter,
cold winter wouldn’t shake their bones like it did his. He always thought he was the weakest one
anyway. His wife had such a painful
childbirth, and she had made it out with an exhausted smile on her face. That same sideways smirk that she always gave
Miles at the best of times in their life.
And
his son had overcome the famine. He had
survived two grave illnesses that many children his age had died from years
prior. All of this without medication. Miles knew, or convinced himself, they would
make it. They had to make it, because
one more step in this white snow wasn’t going to happen. He knelt down and felt the dampness seep up
through his two heavy layers. The whinny
behind him made him reach up and scratch Kasha’s nose. “It’ll be okay, girl. You have to keep going.” He pointed and looked at her, pleading. “One more mile, girl, it’s fine. Please.”
She nudged his shoulder. He felt
hot tears rising up in him. He choked
them back, it was no use to have them freeze on his face. It would just make him colder.
Miles
blinked slowly, holding eye contact with Kasha.
“Please, Kasha, go.” She opened
her great mouth and grabbed his jacket, almost pulling him up. Miles couldn’t help but let out a meek
laugh. She was choosing to die with him.
-------
Though I could see this becoming a longer piece, I don't think it will. Frankly, I know nothing of being a nomad, having settled down for most of my life. I've always wanted to just live on the road, travel to random, outback destinations. Some of my favorite stories are of people trapped in the wilderness.
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