Thursday, August 18, 2011


I jumped off stage and scooped her into my arms.  Amanda was so light, I could pretty much throw her across the room, though I have no strength to speak off.  I was just lanky, really tall, and she was just really petite.

I was talking a mile a minute.  “You thought it was good right, I mean, I didn’t mess anything up, and it sounded okay?”  She laughed and nodded, I stared at her teeth – perfect, straight, glowing white.  That smile was kind of what I lived for, though, I could never tell her that.

She swilled whatever drink she had convinced some 21-year-old to buy her as she listened to me go on until I couldn’t even speak anymore.  I realized that I had some serious cotton mouth going on and watched the world swill inside her cup.

“You can have some if you want,” she pushed it towards me.  I met her eyes with mine and smiled.

“Who’d you swipe it from?”  She shrugged and laughed.  “Fair enough,” and I took a huge gasping gulp.  It was just your traditional rum and coke – with entirely too much rum.  I almost coughed, which just made her laugh harder.

“So, hey, I was wondering,” she placed her fingers in mine, “if you wanted to do something this weekend?”  The warmth of her fingers pushed against my hands, I could almost feel my blood cells stealing whatever kind of heat they could from her.

“Yeah, sure like what?”

“I don’t know, I was thinking you could come up with something.”

I shook my head, “You know what happens when I do that.”  Countless times I’ve been with this girl entirely too stoned, usually because of my poor planning.  And I mean, it wasn’t like now, where my head was gently rolling and I could still focus on her, her perfect lips, the way her hair framed her face… no , it was usually the high where I start pouring confessions, crying about nothing.  I remember the look in her eyes when I knocked on her door – my hair was slick with sleet, my fingers were freezing, and my eyes bleary from the walk.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, glancing between both my eyes, completely focused on me.  I struggled to find the words, but ended up just mouthing, “I don’t know.”  She took me by the hand and guided me inside her apartment.  She took off my coat and I felt absolutely helpless, hopeless, futureless.  She brought me into bed with her and I lied on her chest while she stroked my hair for hours, until we fell asleep.  I think I fell in love with the way that she smelled that night, if you can fall in love with a person’s smell.  But it was that strange, musty lavender and it was intoxicating.

But right now, her lips were sour, so I shook the memory away and said, “Sure, I’ll try something, but I can’t promise it’ll be legal.”

“You know I’m always game.”  She pinched my cheek.  “I’m going to go drag Kelli, we have to get to this other party tonight.”  She looked around, “Shit, you think she dragged Derrick off again?”


“Figures.  I don’t know why she can’t get over that boy, I mean, he doesn’t even act into her – is he?”
I shrugged, “Hell if I know.”

“Well, who does he talk to?”  She stood up, hands on her hips, lips pursed, but her eyes were still filled with laughter.

“You always try to act so serious,” I smirked and reached my hand up, gently taking her face in my hands and I kissed her.  “I’ll see you Saturday, 2pm, it’s a date.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”


Amanda made a face.  We both knew exactly how Anthony felt about Kelli.

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